August, another ordinary month

Time flies, its already August. And I'm back here in KL. Going to Penang tomorrow in the evening, will be leaving for Shanghai on the 1st of Sept. Cold war ongoing, it sucks as usual but like the usual, there's nothing I can do about it. Thinking about us, but I really do not know what to decide. Being in a relationship, means mutual respect. Things you don't like me to do, I won't do, but I hope things I don't like you to do, you won't do as well. At least last time, you'd ask my permission, or even think of my feelings. You wouldn't do it if it would make me feel bad, but its different now. You told me you do not care.

Its been months. Idk why I'm still in this mess. Haven't been blogging at all, because no matter where I go to, run to, or whatever I do, makes no difference. I still go back to the same old spot. Idk what have become of us. Whenever I try settling things, it tends to become worse. Even right now, I'm sick of it. It'll never end so I decided to stop talking about it. Conclusion, this whole thing sucks. Really wanna let go once and for all, so tired... but again, talking is easy. Just want to let go and focus on studies once and for all. I hope I'll be able to do it in these few months, and start all over again this new coming year ^^

I had the best dream for ages just now during my afternoon nap, that I woke up in tears, because it wasn't real. If the dream felt so real, so happy, so damn happy, I think I'd die if it happened for real. I might forget what I dreamt of, but I'll never forget how it made me feel, even in my dreams. Last time, the quote saying "I do not want to go to sleep, because reality is better than my dreams" applied to me, but not anymore. I wish you'd come back dear love, I really miss you so much. Tomorrow night is gonna be a huge heartbreak, but I'll endure it ^^ I hope I'll have the courage to close an eye. I know I can, but it'll hurt.

In this month, I worked, got my pay, pampered myself, had my fun, late nights, bad results, heartbreaks, tears, everything, but I'm just gonna remember all of them. Too much to write down. I promise myself, and for the sake of my family, I'll start fresh again, next year, and I'll start writing again. Need these few months to climb back up. Anyway, its 3 more months left to a new year.

Gotta go pack my luggage for the next few days in Penang and Shanghai. Have a great Raya holiday you guys :)

1.53am 26.8.2011