1.1 years

Its a month past my 18th birthday :) and also another monthsary, but I guess you don't care :)

Well its alright, I'm learning to live with it since I cannot do anything about it. After all, its been a year already, what else is there to say. Some people cherish little things, some people don't. Unfortunately, this little thing is nothing to you.

3 more days to the New Year! Can't wait for it but at the same time, I want time to slow down a bit, because I'm still not ready for sch, not done with homework, and still have so many things not done.

101 Dalmatians on 413 in 15 mins :D

4.18pm 29.12.2010

Hey, all I wanted was to talk. Talk. Is it that hard? Hmmm. I guess it is.

Nvm, I can start learning from here, since you want me to learn so much.

Confessions

After reading some stuff, I feel like, super bad again. I have to admit I suck. I suck so much. I'm a bad girl. A bad bad girl. A bitch. Hee. Really.

Its true. I just want to leave this place and start all over again. I wish I could do it all over again.

I've felt that kinda pain before, why am I doing this?

Maybe I always stalk you because I feel guilty. I do.

Although I didn't do some things that you thought I did, I understand.

Why did I do that? Honestly, I didn't know why. Why? Maybe because I wanted to feel what it felt like? Did I? Really? No way but there's one thing I know. I'll feel this way forever, maybe. I hope you'll forget it in years to come, and me too.

Maybe I got treated like this this evening because of this afternoon :| ok I accept it. Someday, maybe Karma will hit me again, and maybe the same thing will happen, but I'll just accept it. Its my, punishment.

Don't worry. I'll never go there anymore :)

I know it doesn't make a difference now but, Sorry, I truly am.

3.24am 26.12.2010

Happening Day

Today is indeed a very very happening day.

In the morning as planned last minute yesterday night, I went for christmas shopping with Daphne. We first went to Wisma, walked around for about half an hour but went to CP instead after that. I never knew there were so many boutiques selling nice dresses with good prices! Now I know where to go ;) enjoyed myself. I just wished I had a little bit more cash to splash around so I can fully enjoy myself. I used my handphone money, again :( sigh.

One thing, it has been almost 2 solid years since I went real shopping, seriously. I also malu mau tell you people. So, abnormal.

See, as a girl, how spoilt can I be man? I wonder. -____- mum nag like mad somemore. She should be thankful LOL! Seriously okay :P

Btw Melia, I bought myself 2 dresses, 2 tops for him for christmas, some stupid nose stud which I can't even put on now because the batang is too bloody thick, a new mouse to replace my cacat mouse and serum! :P see nothing much one la, hahaha so, nothing to be envied about. We go shopping together la one fine day! ;) hehehe.

Sigh I wanna get my phone so badly by the new year but I think I'll have to wait :( sigh. 1.1.2010 is such a good date for a new phone z.

Went back home after a few hours, gamed as usual etc. Then I called bi because he was supposed to be home since it was past 5. So I called him and asked why didn't he call me blablabla. It was really noisy, couldnt hear what he was saying at first and then the line got cut. Then I called again and he said he got into a car accident. I was like wtf, stop joking around bah. But he said he wasn't, and the accident is just on the highway in front of my house. I looked out of the window, saw nothing but rushed straight out and indeed the scene was so...

The thing is, when I took pics, my hand was even shivering. He was in shock, poor thing :( sigh. He really gave me a big big shock, big time. I was afraid he was gonna lose his memory and forget me yadayada -.-

Both cars badly wrecked. I don't think his can make it? Sakit lo. Anyway, thank God he's fine. Just a sprained neck and a bruised forehead. He's kinda traumatized now so, one more task this holiday, babysit him.

I guess I won't be celebrating christmas this year :( just gonna stay home and try to figure out how to cook soup or whatever it is for him -.- I hope we can make it for New Year's Eve's countdown tho! :(

Gonna go train a little bit, kinda sleepy already because I didn't nap the whole day yay! :D Gonna use Bone la :P chiaaaoooo!

P.S. Japanese Cotton Cheesecake? ME LOVE.

1.25am 23.12.2010

Dots dots dots

Ok needa get a new mouse tomorrow wtf. I reinstalled dota and garena and when I started playing, I realized I couldn't attack -.- NO RIGHT CLICK LOL, fail.

Anyway, bro taught me how to use Enchantress and Lina. I saw Enchantress the other day and it was quite attractive. Not bad, I like her healing! :) her ulti not bad also ngekngek. Used Lina next because she looked pretty @.@ and also really not bad. Easy to use. I like her stun, fire but her ulti uses too much mana sigh. Ok whee not bad for the first night.

Gotta go sleep now, its 4.15am. Wanna go "shopping" with Daphne tomorrow :D hehehehe. See ya guys wheee :)

P.S. My holiday's so lame but, I prefer it than school -.- which is starting in less than 2 weeks time and I have 8 Biology tasks to do SHIT.

4.16am 22.12.2010

I Just Had Sex? LOL

Omg people. Just had to share it with you guys first before it gets "popular" -___-
OKAY THE TITLE OF MY BLOGPOST IS THE SONG'S TITLE OK? By Akon. Lmao.
The lyrics are so idk, way beyond absurd. The song sounds good but... I wonder if it will ever get on top 20 of hitz LOL. Must be lots of cutting -.- but again, i dont think so. I dont think they'll air the song gua? -.-

Lol. This song is funny. Especially the ending. Jessica Alba is in it but like wth? LOL. She gone nuts in it. And they had fireworks, coming out from there.

At first, my friend posted it as his status. And I was what does sex have to do with Akon? Because he typed it this way "I just had sex...akon". Uhhhuh. Then another friend of mine posted the song up on facebook, and I listened to it. LOL big time.

2.40am 21.12.2010

All that ever matter was your calls. But you still made me sadder after that. Shows how much you can sadden me, to the infinity. You never gave in. That was where you went wrong.

I have no tears left babe.

Holidays... what?

My holidays suck, very much so far. Lol. I wish I was at Penang D: or KL! :(

First day, morning was good. Feeling all jolly because we were gonna go out. I was sleeping, waiting for him to finish work so we can go gai gai in the afternoon around 4pm. He finished work at noon, went back to take a nap, so I woke up around 3, got myself ready and everything but at the last minute, something came up thanks to his attitude. Totally ruined the whole day after that. Idk what to do, really. Well, just my luck. Just why won't you be reasonable. Sigh.

Today's the second, and I woke up at nearly 4pm. It was raining cats and dogs before that, because the rain was splashing so crazily at my window -.- i just got up to make sure the window was closed and went back to sleep. Gawd I feel so bored now. Sigh. I might go to the hospital and accompany Pearl later, all the way at Kingfisher -___-

Uhhuh, the degree of boredom.

Idk what I'm gonna do the next 2 weeks. Exactly 2 weeks of hols till sch reopens on the 3rd.

I don't wanna sleep my holidays off :( sigh. Why must this happen to me. Maybe I'll just be like the nerds, do pre-reading, and finish up Biology, and re-study AS incase I'll have to re-sit blabla omg. I wish I was like them, then I won't have to think so much.

Sigh. I just hope 2011 will be a better year for me. Please dear God. My heart needs the rest.

Found this on Tumblr.

All I ever wanted was just to be happy :(

5.42pm 19.12.2010

Mmmm ..... Mmmmm.... Yeah....Mmmmm....Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Mmmm...Yeah....Mmmm..... Yeah, Yeah

[Verse 1:]

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night, doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

[Verse 2:]

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame
Don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Ooh Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me....

[Bridge:]

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!
So can we make this thing ours?

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

[repeat til it ends (about 3 times)]

[Mario (talking):]
Let me love you that's all you need baby

This song just saddens me more. It is now nothing but a sweet memory. A memory that cost me so much.

Happy Holidays, NOT

My holidays started today :)

but... :)

I wish so so much, with all my heart, that I can let go, not look back, and not feel a single pain :)

Just one simple question which I've never asked before :)

Am I your priority?

Priorities

I'm gonna set my priorities right. A2 has already started for a week. I really do not have the heart to do this at all, in fact, I feel like just dropping out from school, stop my course, and just rot at home everyday or do something else instead of school but as much as I want to, I have to focus, which is going to be a very hard thing to do. I don't want to be a useless person, because the only thing I can do right is going to be studying. The rest are, zeros. I don't have any special talents, don't play any instruments good, what more sports and not an expertise in art, designing or anything at all. I don't want to screw A2 like how I screwed AS up, and if I'm going to be re-sitting AS which will most probably happen, I'll have to work double. Double, big time.

Weekdays, all for work, and no play. Saturday, a day where I can just relax and do nothing related to work, I think Yen Ai's gonna be great and Sunday, my weekly revision. Great. Which I am gonna start now before its too late again. Idk how those people can study 24/7 and not get out of the house, watch movies, go on fb, having no social life at all, etc. Some do not even know what shows are out(yay i'm in the category now since AS happened hahaha) or even the very very famous ones people are talking about. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I was that geeky -___- I'm gonna make it work I hope. Being a loner is one of the things that will help me.

I've never studied consistently besides doing last minute studying, ALL THE TIME, before exams. & I'm really sick of it. So sick.

I wish you were here with me, but you're gone, and there's nothing I can do but to accept the fact.

Chemistry and Math now(which I purely hate), because I wanna watch Love Happens tonight at 9pm on HBO!

2.07pm 5.12.2010

Time flies

I was going through my private blog I created years back for some personal reasons and I came across this.

It was posted on the 12th of March, 2008. Around 2 and a half years pass that date already :)

Things im gonna do before 18 or okay, before SPM perhaps? Haha! (In time for prom. =P)
a) My hair.
- it has to be long and well, max/min is above my belly button. You know where those girls wear short pants and singlets, with their hair dangling all over? i just love it! =D Well, wavy or straight, see how la. i think they'll suit me fine? hahaha!
b) My teeth.
- bottom has to be straight, upper has to be in line! Erm, its currently siding to the left a bit and yeah, i want it to be something like Jacyntha's/Alister's/Goh Wan Ching's if you know them. it'll come true i guess because im going to get them done right after i get back to kk!
c) My eyes.
- well i cant really do anything about them unless i go have plastic surgery but that's definitely a NO. I will just stick to my COLOUREDcontact lenses. hahaha. hope my power doesnt go too far from where it is now.
d) My lips.
- well, i love them. xD
e) My nose.
- errrr...nothing much about it but if i could or dare, i'd pierce it! LOL.
f) My hands and legs.
- Get waxing done if its uncontrollable! HAHA! im serious.
g) Eat more! I need the kilograms!

This was part of the post.

HAHAHA. Omg i've done most of it! I've only left one out, which is waxing XD

a) My hair -

I'm proud to say my hair is now over my belly button and the longest strand is somewhere at the butt line? x)

b) My teeth -

I'm also proud to say that I've wore braces and even completed the whole course. My tiger tooth is no longer up there and all of em are straight. But now I've lost my upper retainer which is the 3rd time now. I hope it'll remain this way, please.

c) My eyes -

The power, I forgot how high it was back then but I don't think it has increased much ;) and yes, still with coloured lenses. I'm gonna do eye laser surgery years after this post, hopefully.

d) My lips -

No comment x)

e) My nose -

Uhhuh. I'm also proud to say my nose is pierced already! The third time too mind you ;)

f) My hands and legs -

This one, not yet. AFTER A2 OKAY! x)

g) I HAVE ANY KILOGRAMS ALREADY. I JUST WANNA CUT THEM EXCESS FATS AWAY NOW T____T (this is not very, amazing after all. you dont wanna be fat if you're thin now, trust me)

Its amazing how time flies, and now everything's different :)

Not that much but, still :)

11.32pm 3.12.2010

18th Birthday Bash :D

For my 18th birthday which was on the 28th of Nov, I celebrated it by having a sleepover at Tang Dynasty for 3 days and 2 nights. Since I was turning 18, the countdown was at Firefly. I'm finally legal! :D

No longer underage whee whee. Actually being 18, isn't really different. I just feel more comfy when I enter clubs x) I can now enter even if they check my IC muahahaha.

But I doubt I will enter clubs often even if I'm legalized already. I don't enjoy myself 100%. :/ I don't dance, cuz I dance like chicken, and most importantly, I don't drink -.-

Here are some of the photos from that night ;)

Yeap, its back to bangs again :D

More over at Facebook! ;) its too many, cant upload em all.

Anyway, thank you once more to those who called! texted! wished! came! and celebrated my big day with me! I love you guys.

And last but not least, Happy Anniversary baby! xx

12.21am 3.12.2010

爱一个人不要超过八分... 我爱, 过了八分, 让你懒惰了

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，

总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，

你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、

恋著你，不论做什么事情，

只要能一起，就是好的....

...

....但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，

你开始发现了对方的缺点，

於是问题一个接著一个发生，

你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，

有人说爱情就像在捡石头，

总想捡到一个适合自己的，

但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

他/她适合你，那你又适合他/她吗?

其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，

或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，

但是记住人是有弹性的，

很多事情是可以改变的，

只要你有心、有勇气，

与其到处去捡未知的石头，

还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮，你开始磨了吗？

很多人以为是因为感情淡了，

所以人才会变得懒惰。

错！

其实是人先被惰性征服，

所以感情才会变淡的。

在某个聚餐的场合，

有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，

这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候,她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！

现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！」

听到了吗？明白了吗？

难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，

却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。

因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。

如果每个人都

懒得讲话、

懒得倾听、

懒得制造惊喜、

懒得温柔体贴，

那么夫妻或是情人之间，

又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

*所以请记住：

有活力的爱情，

是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，

谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔!

有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，

可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了，

当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，

他的男朋友很不高兴的说：

你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了，

我以後再也不会等你了！

刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，

她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境；

女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，

他的男朋友说：「我想你一定忙坏了吧！」

接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上，

此刻，女孩流泪了

但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？

其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，

很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！

懂了吗？

当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。

那并不代表你会选择他。

我们总说：「我要找一个自己很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。」

但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，

你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。

可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。

假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？

其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。

或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，

但是你有没有想过『在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？』

所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！他或许已经等你很久了

当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。

所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。

如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，

完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

所以请记住，

喝酒不要超过六分醉，

吃饭不要超过七分饱，

爱一个人不要超过八分

如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；

要道歉，也要道谢；

要认错，也要改错；

要体贴，也要体谅；

是接受，而不是忍受；

是宽容，而不是纵容；

是支持，而不是支配；

是慰问，而不是质问；

是倾诉，而不是控诉；

是难忘，而不是遗忘；

是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；

是为对方默默祈求，

而不是向对方诸多要求；

可以浪漫，但不要浪费；

`*不要随便牵手，

`*更不要随便放手